Friday, January 22, 2016

What if...

What if we lived in the countryside?  What if all our neighbors were to live in extreme poverty?  What if my husband, neighbors and I all have distinct native tongues?  What if there are terrifying crawling critters and winged things with which I must cross paths?

Life is certainly uncertain.  It always is.  Sometimes we just don’t realize it until we come to a definitive junction where great changes are inevitable.  That’s where we’ve come to now.

Igor is putting in long hours studying for his boards in a week.  Iris is wishing she could crawl, drooling over the food on her parents’ plates, and dreaming of all the mischievous things she will do when she’s just a little more coordinated.  I am researching possible locations for us to move to come May, wondering how many more hurdles we’ll come upon trying to take care of Iris and my immigration and nationalization paperwork, and often asking myself, “What if…?”

The aforementioned inquiries are all valid.  Peru has many indigenous languages.  One of Igor’s top priorities in selecting a sight for his rural medical service from those offered to him is that it be one of the poorest districts in the country.  The jungle lurks with unknown and venomous creatures and I haven’t the slightest idea what to consider about mountainous wildlife. 

Since resigning from my job and spending my time at home with Iris and Igor (while he studies), I’ve realized that I have less of a plan for the near future now that I’ve probably ever had.  As an individual with a Type A personality, I’ve always had a plan.  Elementary school.  Junior high and high school.  Then Germany and the back-up plan of college.  By the middle of my last year of college, Kenya was planned.  Then a Fulbright year, a wedding, and a job as an English teacher.  Now all I know is that my job is to be there for my family in this next year wherever it takes us—be that the desert, the Andes, or the Amazon Rainforest.  Will Iris become American?  Will I become Peruvian?  Will Igor become an English-speaking doctor? 


What if we could go back in time and re-do some things?  What if we could fast forward and see what lies ahead to ward off the concerns we are beset with?  What if we just take life one day at a time or even one hour or one minute at a time enjoy its simple moments and I remember just a little more often the blessing in disguise of living in a chaotic, inefficient, developing nation that doesn’t allow me to plan or at least dashes most of the ones that I make?  I’ll try just a little bit harder. 

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